ray ferreira ray ferreira ray ferreira
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© ray ferreira 1. Let the audience pour honey on me. Lick it... if you want 2. The performance will end when everyone is satisfied and are filled *The names of people have been redacted. We know who you are.* **No corrections have been made with regards to misgendering ray.** Lots of honey and too much to swallow.
Could begin to empathize with you having to consume so much in your earlier works.
Was aware of those around me.
Watching me.
Would it be appropriate to turn you over?
To lick you everywhere.
All over.
Nipples, Lips, and Cock,
First and last,
And all over again.
Happy Birthday!

My performance anxiety can be triggered
as easily as being asked to read something aloud,
so it was no surprise to myself that once I had the invitation to pour onto/off the artist's body.
The anxiety was compounded
by the erotic nature of being in a room (albeit with others) with a nude male.
The fact that I know the artist personally as well as the audience members was problematic (I believe)
to the general performance
--however each time a performance is executed, it is bound to be unique so
by no means did it make for a less interesting art piece.
As far as my specific emotions during the performance, here is what I felt:
at first I felt nervous,
then relieved to see E go first (no surprise).
Before the performance, I agreed to participate so keeping my word only enhanced my internal tension.
I'm glad I agreed to perform and
felt accountable to follow through because I'm not usually known for being daring.
Had I not know the artist personally and this was set in a gallery
(open to the public),
I'm not certain I would have done this -- only certain to regret my inaction later.
As I approached the body,
knowing fully I was being watched, I struggled to fight the erotic temptation to fully objectify this body that I knew in another context --at which I cannot say I was successful.
I chose the clavicle onto which to pour the honey 
as it was the "safest" erogenous zone (an area I specifically find attractive)
--by this I mean the safest part of ray from which I was willing to lick honey in front of an audience.
Not being restricted beforehand,
I briefly fantasized dripping honey down the small of the back, allowing it to run down into the ass,
or raising the bowl up high
and dramatically allowing gravity to pull honey down
onto the penis with enough force to make the appendage bob and bounce.
But like I said, I'm not exhibitionist!
I chose to use my right pinky finger in applying the honey, knowing that it would perhaps have some phallic association as well as create a fine delicate, and controllable stream of honey. I raised my pinky to the mouth of the artist hoping he would lick or suck the honey in return but when no response was given, I decided to brush the lips that they would be shiny and sticky (I did not consider licking the honey from his lips but in retrospective, perhaps I should have). When I lowered my mouth onto my shoulder and clavicle,
the smell of the artist produced a mnemonic reaction:
the smell was that of my first lover, 
which triggered feelings of arousal.
The feeling of being turned-on during a performance and in front of classmates quickly became an uncomfortable situation for me and encouraged me to cut my participation short.
After I returned to my seat, I continued to clean myself off by sucking the remaining honey off my finger (reminding me off smoking a cigarette after sex). I oddly felt like this performance was a strange opportunity for me to tap into that bit of exhibitionism that does exist in me. PS: Later that evening my friend (first lover) FB messaged me quite out of the blue, which I found to be very weird and serendipitous! We chatted for a while. I told him about the performance (he considered my opportunity to be very fortunate). And the reason he was messaging me was because he had a dream about me. Anyway, really weird. Thanks! I was a little nervous -- but excited --about the idea of participating. As others started going up, I realized that everyone was approaching the act in a different way. Some were really passionate about the experience, and it felt like an intensely personal act. A little voyeuristic even. When I licked you, I wanted it to be outside of a sexual context, and in the realm of friends engaging with another, but in a very unexpected way. I think that's why I scooped the honey out of the bowl instead of pouring, and put it in a neutral place (your forehead). I wanted to participate in this with you, but I supposed I also wanted to establish my own degree of control. If you need more info, just give me a shout!